SIR, - I was shocked by the recent letters complaining about the new wind farms being proposed in East Berwickshire.
Do your correspondents not appreciate that they are being required to suffer misery and financial loss for the sake of a Great Cause? Far from resisting, they should recognise these edifices are as icons of the ‘New Faith’, the arcane system of belief shrouded by the mysteries of the computer superior, the acts of consensus of the faithful peer reviewers and dedicated to the saving of the planet as a habitat for humans for millions of years to come. This is a really down-to-earth faith. No nonsense about the saving of souls; just a crusade against the frightening global warming that, though it poses no clear and present danger, must be overcome by doing penance for the sins of our fathers.
The new faith will prevail! Tithes are being levied already on everyone who wickedly uses up the world’s resources or who causes the emission of noxious gases that will trap the heat from the sun and cause humanity to perish.
These tithes are called the Renewable Obligation (RO) and although all are paying them now in their energy bills, no one can tell how much. All we may know is that energy prices are going up and up.
Like the locked Bibles of the mediaeval churches, RO is forbidden knowledge. But the icons will be erected! The faith will prevail! The evil greenhouse gas emitters will be destroyed and their filthy fossil-fuelled power stations will be razed to the ground.
Vengeance will fall on the sons of the nuclear generation and they will never succeed; their heritage will be lost in history and their name will never be spoken again. The believers are certain that the Venti, the gods of the winds, will provide nice warm winters and gentle zephyrs miraculously to make the icons move in majesty, to the amazed surprise, disbelief and awe of the people.
But the forces of opposition, the devil’s advocates, will raise their voices and proclaim that the true faith is but a fabricated delusion, that the sunspots that have disappeared will not reappear for 50 years, that the sun will lose its power and that a terrible cold will descend upon the land. Even crops grown for fuel will fail!
Over the whole country, the air will be still, week after week. Energy will be rationed and unaffordable for most people. These are the doom-laden voices of the despicable deniers, those who provoke disharmony in society and who deserve the heretic’s punishment: to be derided and ignored.
They, like your correspondents, would try to stand in the way of natural wind-powered progress that brings such wealth, joy and happiness to landowners and wind-farmers as was unheard of in the bad old days of husbandry and agriculture.